Welcome to ‘Don’t Hate the Player, Love the Game’ – a new content series from VERSUS and EE that challenges all football fans to unite against hate. We want to build a culture of proud supporters who are worthy of wearing their national team’s shirt. To join us, you can visit the EE Proud Supporter hub to learn more.

Few people understand the importance of football to culture and community than Aniefiok Ekpoudom. Growing up in South London, where he played for the same childhood club in Lewisham as future Premier League stars, the beautiful game was a unifying force.

It was a shared love that sparked conversation and forged friendships. While it’s always brought people together from all walks of life, there’s an uncomfortable irony that it can actually be a tool for division in contemporary society. 

As a British man of shared Nigerian and Cameroonian heritage, Neef – as he’s known – found a new love for an England team in 2018 that resembled the diversity of modern Britain like never before. But that love was tested only three years later as three young Black players were the subject of unprecedented abuse.

Neef has linked up with VERSUS and EE to back the ‘EE Proud Supporter’ programme, a bold new campaign that wants to create a football culture that’s free from hate.

After featuring in a new film – ‘Don’t Hate the Player, Love the Game’ – Neef spoke with VERSUS about his changing relationship with the England team, how online communities can be a positive influence in fan culture, and why we all have a responsibility to create a more tolerant environment.

VERSUS: Who are you and what do you do?

Neef: I'm a writer, author and journalist who writes about the intersections of music and football, and how that impact different parts of British society. I look at what football or music says about culture and community in our country. My first book, ‘Where We Come From’, dropped this year and is a social history of UK rap.

When it comes to talking about football, I look at the history of not just the sport but the community and culture around it. I look at how society is formed – and has been formed by – coaches, players and teams.

What are your earliest memories of international football?

I remember glimpses of 1998 – the England-Argentina game specifically and Beckham’s sending off stick in my mind – but 2002 was my first proper introduction to major tournaments. I was locked into every game. England played Nigeria in that one and that game was so special to me because it was my two nations of heritage going against each other. 

What does supporting your country mean to you? 

I think it’s about being part of something bigger than yourself. Supporting England is rooted in ideas of community and togetherness. At its best, I think international sport is special because the whole country gets along.

I remember the big tournament in 2018 really well – it was when my England fandom was at its biggest, because I felt like that team really started to represent my own journey with what it means to be English. There’s obviously ups and downs supporting England, but that’s totally normal with any team.

Do you closely identify with the culture that comes with supporting the national team?

There were times before 2018 when it was difficult. When it comes to football, I’d heard stories of my dad and his friends going to grounds and experiencing racism. Unfortunately the response to Black players and fans if England lost became a bit of a running joke in our community – “if England lose, you know what’s going to happen to Black players…”

That was quite a long time ago, but then Euro 2020 happened and we all remember how that final ended. Race and English football culture has had a difficult relationship but under Gareth Southgate – from 2018 onwards – it began to feel like an England team that was for everyone. He was very explicit in learning about the multiculturalism that makes up modern England and advocated for it when he needed to. That made a big difference for me, it became a team I could very much identify with.

What aspects of football culture do you have the most trouble with?

The treatment of Black players when times are tough is still difficult. As much as I say it feels like the culture around the team has changed, it’s delicate. Acceptance and respect shouldn’t be determined on whether you score a penalty…that’s not acceptance. That’s a relationship that says: “if you do something for me, I will support you – if you don’t, you’re still an outcast.”

That also ties into whether there are places I can watch the game where I feel truly comfortable. Online football culture has actually helped in that respect, because it means I can be more connected and tapped into a level of conversation that’s on my wavelength. Even if you don’t feel comfortable in some traditional physical spaces, there are now communities online that accept you for who you are.

Do pro players receive too much abuse?

Yes and it’s really sad to see. I’m surprised when I see the levels of abuse they get. It’s totally dehumanising. Some fans only see footballers as commodities; people who live in a different reality and should take things on the chin.

But everybody has emotion and it’s dangerous to think otherwise. At the same as conversations around mental health are at an all-time high, we’re seeing real people be attacked on an industrial scale. It’s only in retrospect, once people say they aren’t okay, we consider the responsibility we all have.

Do you think high levels of online abuse contributes to the lack of out LGBTQ+ players in the men’s game?

Definitely. You always hear reports about how there are plenty of players in professional football who are gay but don’t feel comfortable coming out because of the toxicity that has historically existed in football. Sadly, that community has been used as a stick to beat people with – you think of the horrific chants towards Chelsea or Brighton fans – and that has to be discouraging. 

The grassroots game has done a lot to address it, with a number of community clubs making it really clear that they’re an open space for players, coaches, fans of all backgrounds and cultures. We need more of that across the board.

What do you admire most about this generation of players?

Footballers are more open now than they were previously. We know a lot more about who players are as individuals now. Social media has given us a chance to understand these people and their passions clearly.

Even with England, you look on socials during a tournament, and you see the camaraderie in the squad. You see them dancing, vibing, playing video games, or whatever – it makes them incredibly relatable. The national team doesn’t feel disconnected from the fans anymore because of stuff like that.

EE's proud supporter programme aims to educate fans and give people the tools to deal with various types of hate. How important is this kind of initiative in making a change in football?

When you look at the space football occupies in most of our lives, it’s an environment where you go to purely be yourself. You can take away whatever else is going on in your life and be ‘free’ for 90 minutes. That type of release should be open to everybody, regardless of your ethnicity, sexuality or gender. Having freedom is important in our society and football, as the national pastime, should embody that as much as any other space in public life.

What can fans do to be ‘Proud Supporters’ this summer and beyond?

I think you have to actively co-create the environment you want to be part of. Call injustice out. Be sensitive to other perspectives. Embrace new ideas. Consider what you can do to make everyone feel comfortable in the space you’re in, use kindness and foresight as a superpower. 

EE are committed to bringing people together to stand against hate in football with their ‘Proud Supporter’ programme. Visit the EE Proud Supporter hub to learn more.